When you were little,
How much undivided attention did your parents give you? Did they listen?
Was it about understanding your world, or fitting you in their own?
Did they hold you in positive regard as a person, even when you made mistakes?
If someone entered into your life and paid you quality time, and listened, would you accept and trust it?
We recreate our relationships based on the familiar, for better and worse. The dynamic flows through persons, institutions, and generations.
There are things you wish for that are completely reasonable. But if you asked, you'd be laughed out the building or look crazy.
There are people who've misconstrued you, time and time again, to allay their own compounded wishes that have been squandered, to fantasize control by destroying your own, and fantasize competency and finesse by dunking your head under water, and fantasize social power by gossiping.
I study theories of personality, object relations, and couple/family therapy, genograms (family trees). Here I revise overviews of my favorite theories and resources worth sharing.